God Wants a Broken and Humble Heart
Non Serviam: The Mystery of the First Refusal
"Better to reign in Hell, than serve in Heav'n" (Satan, Milton's Paradise Lost) Introduction Before the serpent, before any human being drew breath, or any garden was planted, something turned. That's the question this essay sits with. Not why evil exists in some abstract philosophical sense, but how the very first act of rebellion was even possible. Lucifer, the tradition tells us, had no excuses. No tempter whispering in his ear, no passion clouding his judgment, no ignorance to hide behind. Pure spirit and intellect; created good and held in grace, and yet, at some point in what we can only call the morning of creation: non serviam . I will not serve. The human fall has contextual factors. There's a serpent, there's embodiment, there's the particular vulnerability of creatures who learn gradually and can be deceived. When Adam and Eve make a wrong choice, we can see contributing conditions. But Lucifer strips the problem to its bones. His ...
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