A Funeral Without A Funeral
These thoughts were triggered by an advert on TV about cost-savings cremations.
According
to the Catechism of Catholic Church:
The bodies of the dead must be treated with respect and charity, in faith and hope of the Resurrection. The burial of the dead is a corporal work of mercy; it honours the children of God, who are temples of the Holy Spirit.
A farewell to the deceased is his final "commendation to God"
by the Church. It is "the last farewell by which the Christian community
greets one of its members before his body is brought to its tomb.” The
Byzantine tradition expresses this by the kiss of farewell to the deceased: By
this final greeting "we sing for his departure from this life and
separation from us, but also because there is a communion and a reunion. For
even dead, we are not at all separated from one another, because we all run the
same course and we will find one another again in the same place. We shall
never be separated, for we live for Christ, and now we are united with Christ
as we go toward him . . . we shall all be together in Christ.”
A funeral is an act of worship and thanksgiving to God for the gift of the life of the person who has died. It offers hope and consolation to those left behind at what is often the bleakest time of our lives. It holds out the promise of eternal life and the gift of God’s mercy.
The Catholic Church still prefers burial over cremation, but permits a body to be cremated, provided cremation was not chosen to oppose Church teachings. It is also preferable that the cremation take place after the funeral celebration, so the body can be present for the final commendation and prayers, but it still permitted for the cremation to take place beforehand, if necessary.
As the body during life was a temple of the
Holy Spirit, it should be treated with utmost respect even after death. The ashes
should have a dignified final resting place within a cemetery. As well as
honouring the body of the deceased, it offers a place to which mourners can go
to pray for the soul of the dead and pay their respects
'Unattended
Cremation', or 'Direct Cremation' is becoming increasingly popular in Britain as the cost of
funerals soar. This is a funeral option wherein the deceased is cremated
without a funeral service. It costs substantially less than the traditional
funeral - £1,200 on average compared with £4,000 plus.
The process
is simple. Your relation’s or friend’s body is collected from a hospital or
morgue, cremated without ceremony, and a few days later you either receive
their ashes in a cardboard box, or they are anonymously scattered somewhere at
the crematorium. There is no preparation of the body, no contact
(apart from phone or email) with the cremation arranger, no viewing of the body, no hearse,
no service. What you do with the ashes, if you elect to receive them, is up to
you. You can arrange a funeral service, or not. You can dispose of them any way
you wish within the law and your own level of ‘taste’.
In the USA
this service is known as ‘Cash and Ash’.
One such UK provider advertises as follows:
What’s included in every Pure
Cremation Funeral Plan?
Collection from anywhere in mainland England, Wales
and Scotland
Transfer to the crematorium and a solid pine
eco-coffin
Cremation fees for an unattended committal at the
crematorium of our choice
Hand delivery of the ashes to any mainland address in England, Wales and Scotland
What products and services are
not included in the funeral plan?
The use of a hearse, limousine or flowers
A funeral ceremony at the crematorium
A minister or a celebrant
A choice of crematorium
Mourners attending the committal at the crematorium
Is this a
"money-saving
tip" worth considering?
Most
funerals these days in Britain are cremations. Plus,
many of cremations carried out today are without any Church service first;
some without a priest present at the crematorium.
One could ask a firm to remove and cremate the remains, and then plan a Requiem Mass without the body being present. As this Requiem would not involve a coffin, it would not need undertakers and could be held at any time of day, including the evenings or Saturdays, which would enable people to come without having to take time off work. One could have the ashes present when they are returned to the family.
Thoughts .....
I think a funeral without a body, at least from a religious point of view, is desperately sad (notwithstanding those funerals for people who've been lost as sea, etc., and their remains haven't been recovered). It can work with ashes present, although the committal doesn't really make sense at that point.
ReplyDeleteI can't help but feel that this low cost, no contact option is less about helping the bereaved and more indicative of a culture that is simultaneously mired in an hysterical denial of death while treating life as disposable, and obsessed with doing everything on the cheap. Funerals are already sanitised and clinical and designed to protect people from what's happened, and I'm not convinced that doing everything out of sight is healthy. Sometimes, the sight of the coffin is the only contact that the bereaved have with the reality of death.
In a traditional Japanese funeral, the cremation is followed by a ritual called kotsuage, in which the family are invited to remove the bones from the cremation ashes with special chopsticks and place them into the burial urn. I know that many people find this idea unpleasant, but in my experience, it is very important and healing to face mortality that directly. I worry that our culture robs people of that privilege.
Yes, I completely agree with you. I wonder too if cremation in Western culture contributes to this too.
DeleteYes, I think it does. Western crematoria are like factories: one family leaving through the back door while the next is queuing at the front door. They are soulless (no pun intended) and depersonalising processing plants and everything is taken care of 'out of sight, out of mind'.
DeleteIrrespective of one's faith tradition, there's a finality to burial (even of an urn) that acknowledges the passing of a loved one from being among us to whatever one believes happens next. I think there's something very visceral and honest about returning someone to the earth (or burning them on the banks of the Ganges) which doesn't happen with a curtain just closing around them. This is, from what I've seen, the hardest part of the funeral and I think it's why so many boxes of ashes end up at the bottom of a wardrobe for years. If the person hasn't been returned to the elements, it's like they're not really gone.
Yes, a well ordered Christian funeral rite expresses the belief that though the dead are separated from us, the living, they are still at one with the community of believers here on earth. We acknowledge the separation whilst also recognising the spiritual bond that still exists, and express our belief that all the faithful will be raised up and reunited in the next life where death will be no more.
DeleteIt's this sense of God and belief in the afterlife that the West is losing.
It's why I prefer the traditional Catholic liturgy and its stages:
• prayers after death;
• a prayer vigil before a funeral;
• the funeral liturgy in church, and/or funeral service in a crematorium chapel; and
• the burial of the coffin or the cremated remains in sacred ground.
This belief in God and in life after death, is the reason for the Catholic Christian funeral rites.
I agree. I think that traditional funeral rites view death as something which, although a tragedy, is both an unavoidable part of life and a continuation of the life of the person who has departed. We pray for them, just as we do for the living, commend their spirit to God and return their earthly remains to the earth, where they await the resurrection to eternal life.
DeleteSecular funeral rites miss all of this. They're a confused mess of nihilistic beliefs that's there's nothing after death, while simultaneously believing that the departed is playing football with the angels; and have no idea whether the body is an irrelevant shell to be disposed of or the last link to the person to be retained forever on a shelf.
Since we all gotta go, I kind of fancy burial at sea. I know it's acceptable for people who die at sea, but does anyone know what the Catholic Church's view is on elective burial at sea? I'm not getting cremated, and don't fancy a tiny little box. Any views?
ReplyDeleteBurial at sea of the body/ashes in a coffin/casket is permitted by Catholic Church. So, you'll still need to be in a coffin or cremated!
DeleteWell, then, I think there's finally a use for one of those see-through willow caskets. Mrs Bell used to work in a crem (admin side) and informs me the staff used to freak out when they had to put one of them through. If you can't see the person inside, it's just a box, but if you can, it's a whole nuther story.
DeleteMy father took a funeral where a willow coffin was used. The deceased had been deceased for a while and did not have, shall we say, the greatest structural integrity. One of the undertaker's pall bearers required a new suit.
DeleteRe burial at sea: https://www.catholicherald.com/article/columns/what-does-the-church-teach-about-cremation-and-burial-at-sea/
@ Bell
DeleteNot sure a willow casket would meet the criteria of a "well-protected container" - see Lain's link.
My dad use to urge us not to waste money on a funeral, just to leave his body out for bin men
ReplyDeleteNaturally his wishes were ignored. But with regards the cremation only option, I think I might opt for that.
Lain thanks for the willow coffin warning. Yuck!
You think Mrs Clive will agree to that?
DeleteYou're welcome. One of the benefits of being of being a clergy brat is having a wealth of such stories that will bring any dinner party to an uncomfortable halt.
Delete@HJ you bet, she's as tight as a knats chuff!
Delete