Crannóggy Island

  An emergency cabinet meeting at Number 10 reportedly lasted six hours after someone accidentally unplugged the only remaining opinion poll showing Keir Starmer was popular (in the Falkland Islands). Witnesses say the prime minister attempted to restore order, but was drowned out by Animal shouting ‘EVERTHING IS FINE!’ while Beaker presented a 97-slide PowerPoint entirely made of panic noises. Kermit has allegedly been tasked with explaining why everything is actually going according to plan. Meanwhile, Downing Street insiders insist morale remains high. Miss Piggy is understood to have demanded three resignations before breakfast, Fozzie Bear is handling media strategy (‘Wocka wocka, Burnham is no good!), and Gonzo is in charge of revising the government's policy priorities (benefits, benefits, benefits). Officials deny claims the government is now being run entirely by the Muppets, although one aide was heard to admit: "In fairness to the Muppets, they usually rehearse fir...

Introduction What a Christian makes of Mary reveals more about his theology than almost any other question he can be asked. This is not because Marian doctrine is central to the Gospel. Catholics do not claim it is. The disagreements about her turn out, on inspection, to be disagreements about almost everything else: the nature of Scripture, the authority of tradition, the scope of redemption, and the communion of the living and the dead. Indeed, Catholics themselves have not always presented Marian devotion well; exaggeration and romanticism can obscure what the doctrines are meant to protect. For many Protestants, Marian doctrines appear to have little biblical foundation and are an elaborate edifice built on human tradition rather than Scripture. For Catholics, these doctrines are grounded in Scripture, illuminated by apostolic tradition, and developed across centuries of theological reflection. Most Protestant challenges are not disputes about individual texts. More often, they a...